Youjitsu 2nd Year V8 SS– Kushida Kikiyō –A Certain Lapse of Judgement
Ryūen took the initiative to take a shot at me, only to have it backfire. Right after finishing the conversation however...
“Why... to come to my rescue? It's not good for Ayanokōji-kun, right?”
Ayanokōji-kun obviously would not want to be targeted on purpose by Ryūen-kun.
“There are benefits. You are an indispensable talent in the class. Even if I didn't come here, I don't think Ryūen would be planning to expose you, but I don't know how he'll act afterwards. You should figure out a way to seal his mouth for good.”
“...That’s, well...”
I certainly reflect on how superficial and rash I am. But why can't I restrain my emotions at this moment? My past failures have led me to this situation, which has done nothing but put a huge burden on me.
If I were exposed, only I would be in trouble. However, the class will also lose a hand that can contribute to the class.
“I must guard my place. I obviously acted for this reason, but...”
“You are no match for Ryūen. If you voluntarily got into a battle you couldn't handle and blew yourself up, then I'd be troubled. That's why I just stepped in”
What a humiliating word to make me feel doubly humiliated. But... it's true.
It's been a long time since I had that first impression of “just an insignificant student” for Ayanokōji-kun.
“At least at this stage, I don't think Ryūen is a strong enemy.”
The person standing side by side with me said what I couldn't possibly say, as naturally as the weather today.
It's not surprising that such a statement would be laughed at, since it's clearly something that can't be done.
“H-Huh? What is this...”
My brain can't keep up with my understanding, so I'm doing my best just to reply like this. But it's shameful and annoying to see myself in such a confused state.
“Anyway, you don't have to take any risks now. Cherish yourself as you are.”
“What an unpleasant thing to say. Does the class need my strength so much?”
My heart felt like it was grabbed by a chirp, and I felt like I was blushing badly. Cold sweat? My heart rate also seemed to have increased strangely.
“That's also another reason.”
“Another?”
“I feel like I can get along well with Kushida who speaks her mind.”
Ha...? Is he, stupid?
“Don't be like that. Someone who knows my nature can't really think like that, right?”
I don't want to hear words that will confuse me even more mentally. It's clear that I don't want to hear those words, but I want him to say more. This contradiction was destroying my brain.
“There's no such thing. I really quite like it.”
“What is this... Where exactly is the seriousness? Ayanokōji-kun, I can't believe it.”
I wanted to reply with a smile, but I couldn't. Why? Why? Why? I couldn't play the usual me.
“It's true. There are people in this world who would feel more comfortable with your nature”
“This kind of thing———”
My brain, completely froze. I couldn't look directly at the man in front of me and fled to the wall.
That way I can't see him.
No, no, no! What am I doing?! I need to calm down, there is definitely something wrong with this! This is not… I couldn’t be… falling for him?
Impossible. Impossible. Impossible, impossible... Impossible!
By the way, if I think about it, didn’t Ayanokōji-kun touch my breasts? No, instead of saying he touched my breasts I should say I forced him to touch them. At that time, I could not think of any other method other than this one, and there was nothing I could do about it.
Hmm? Wait a minute. Strange. Calmly think about it, if he wanted to, couldn’t Ayanokōji-kun easily break free of my grip?
Whether it's the fingerprints on the uniform or whatever, I can't remember what I said at that time, but he should know that this poses no threat, right?
“What's going on?”
He wore a harmless expression. Is he actually just thinking “lucky, I can touch her boobs” or something like that?
Ha! Isn't that shameless? Wait a minute. Wait... Wait a minute. Calm down, calm down. Hoo~ha~, hoo~ha~.
Put the boob thing aside for now. It's the other feelings that are the big problem. I'm in love with someone else ? Ha———? This kind of thing is not possible, right.
Falling in love as a student or something like that won't do any good for the future. So I'm not going to like anyone here.
The only thing that matters is myself. For the sake of my own happiness, there may be times when I have to get married in the future, but at most, that's all. If I judge that it is best for me to live by myself, then of course I will do so. So, there is absolutely no way I could have such feelings for him.
Recently, I have become weaker because my weaknesses have been exposed to the people around me. It just happened that at this time, I was slightly touched by Ayanokōji-kun's attitude.
“It's okay, it's okay…”
Calm down. Think about it calmly first. So far, I have resolutely played the role of my gentle self to anyone.
In the end, who is Ayanokōji-kun? Wait a second… Ayanokōji-kun is waiting behind me, he should have noticed my abnormality.
So I'm going to turn around and answer him with a smile, saying that I'm fine although I'm feeling a little sick. That's the usual me all the time. I turn around with my mind made up.
“I'm just a little dizzy, but I'm fine! It’s oka-!”
The moment I turned around and saw Ayanokōji-kun’s face, I paused.
“Are you really okay?”
Because objectively speaking, I made a rather strange sound, so Ayanokōji- kun naturally asked.
Don't look over here! No, no, I'm still shaking !
Confused, haunted. This- this is impossible. I’m absolutely haunted!!!
